Some friends are so close, you cannot imagine seeing them apart. Heather Robb and Laine DiPasquantonio were nearly inseparable in their 20s when they both lived in Boston. They went to concerts and vacationed together. Laine was there when Heather met her future husband and attended their wedding as a bridesmaid. Their bond seemed like it would endure forever.

Yet sometime after Ms. Robb married and Ms. DiPasquantonio moved to Colorado, their circle of friends scattered. They became busy raising children, juggling jobs and caring for aging parents.

“It’s terrible because you don’t know it’s happening,” Ms. Robb, now 60, said about their friendship fading in a joint interview. “I think it was simply space and time. We were all in different cities, we were all in that busy time of toddlers.”

Years passed with occasional cards and texts but few meaningful interactions. Ms. DiPasquantonio saw photos on social media of Ms. Robb skiing and traveling with other friends. “I wasn’t sure there was so much room for me, from a distance,” she said.

“Aww, I feel badly about that,” Ms. Robb replied. “I would argue that’s the bad side of social media.”

The women found their way back to each other when Ms. Robb had a business trip to Denver last spring. “I was so tickled that you called and wanted to get together. It was awesome,” Ms. DiPasquantonio, now 63, said during their interview. “What took us so long, right?”

They have remained close since. “It just feels so good. It feels like there was a missing piece,” Ms. Robb added.

The friends we make early in life can be some of the deepest relationships we have. The schoolmates who shared bike rides and their favorite candy. The roommates who comforted us after bad news. Our friends know us, sometimes better than we know ourselves.

But as we grow up, take on jobs and gain the responsibilities of homes and families, it can be challenging to stay connected with everyone we have loved. And when we lose contact, there is a real void. As Ms. Robb put it, “a missing piece.”

This yearning is nothing new. People instinctively long for meaningful friendship. Thousands of years ago, Solomon wrote in the Old Testament about “a friend [who] loves at all times” (Prov. 17:17) and “a friend that sticks closer than a brother” (18:24).

Those verses sum up the kind of friend we all desire. That type of relationship is possible, but it takes time and effort—and sometimes reaching out long after the bond appears to have faded.

Designed for Friendship

Just after God created the first human being, a man named Adam, He observed: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18).

God then created the first friend: Adam’s wife, Eve.

These words apply to the complicated world we live in today just as they did in the Garden of Eden. It is “not good” for people to be isolated. While we all need some alone time on occasion, prolonged solitude is harmful.

A 2025 study of nearly 50,000 people across the United States conducted by Howard University College of Medicine in Washington, D.C., found that more than 80 percent of those surveyed experience some degree of loneliness.

The lead author said in a press release: “People who felt lonely ‘always’ had a fivefold increase in depression risk, 11 more poor mental health days, and 5 additional poor physical health days per month compared to those who never felt lonely. These effects were consistent even after accounting for age, race, gender, and other factors.”

Technology, including social media, video calls, text messages and other things, has made it easier to stay in touch. But that is not a substitute for in-person interaction. A person can be on social media all day but still feel lonely. That is why it is so important to have real-life friends.

The book of Ecclesiastes adds, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (4:9, New Living Translation). While the specific context here is family, the principle applies to friendship too.

Having a deep connection with another person makes us “better off.” Two friends can “help each other succeed.” God designed us this way.

If we lack friends, or even if we still have a friend group but have lost one or two people we were especially close with, we will feel the difference. But if we make friendship a priority, we can enjoy the benefits described in Ecclesiastes 4:9.

Another story of reconnection underscores this.

When Jennifer Austin met Molly in second grade, they quickly became best friends. They giggled through classes until the teacher separated them, inspiring them to come up with their own language. They shared sleepovers and went on each other’s family vacations.

But they gradually drifted apart after Ms. Austin’s family moved to Germany before the girls started high school. Decades passed before they recently reconnected as grown women. But when they found each other again, it felt like they could just pick up right where they left off.

“Strong friendships really do stay for the long haul,” Ms. Austin, now 51, said. “Even if there are pauses in between and they fade, that doesn’t mean they completely dissolve or they go forgotten. They’re always there kind of lingering like a little light in the back.”

God created us to need connection and companionship.

How Friendship Functions

The Bible goes beyond simply showing that friendship is important. It also reveals how God intends friendship to function. We benefit our friends, and they benefit us, in practical ways.

The best friendships do not center on passively sitting in a room with another person to watch a movie or play a video game. They involve two people helping each other become the best versions of themselves.

Proverbs 27:17 illustrates this principle: “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (NLT).

The first part of this verse could feel a little unfamiliar to people who are more likely to swipe a phone screen than work with metals. But in biblical times, iron tools and weapons were sharpened by rubbing them against another piece of iron. The friction removes dullness and refines the edge. It is not a gentle process—it involves contact, pressure and abrasion—but the result is a sharper, more effective tool.

It is not hard to understand what God wants us to take away from this analogy. When we spend time with people who care about us, they inspire us to improve ourselves.

We cannot sharpen ourselves. We need friends for that.

Sometimes that happens through our example. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walks with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Spending time with wise people will allow their winning traits to rub off on us.

At other times, a friend can more pointedly bring something to our attention that we need to change. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (NLT). Someone you respect and spend a lot of time with is often the best person to say things that feel like “wounds” but help you improve as a person.

Another key is found in Proverbs 17:17, which we saw earlier: “A friend loves at all times.” Showing love at all times means we are consistent and dependable. Showing love encompasses many of the things we do for our friends.

Love motivates us to do things like give advice, help our friend move to a new apartment, text late at night with an encouraging word, give a ride to work when their car is in the shop, allow them to have space when they need it, and countless other things.

When you love at all times, you do not leave someone guessing whether you will do what you said or if they can rely on you. You are there for them.

Taken together, these verses show that God intended friendship to promote loyalty, trust and accountability. Being a good friend involves developing and showing good character.

Ruptures and Restoration

Despite all the benefits friendship brings, life changes can quietly weaken even the strongest bonds. Close friendships do not usually dramatically rupture. Instead, over time, people drift apart.

In Heather and Laine’s story, the separation was not really anyone’s fault. It had more to do with shifting priorities in life and physical distance.

If you want to reconnect, someone must take the first step. If a friend is on your mind, chances are you might be on theirs. The choice is yours to reach out.

Simple, right? But sometimes we are held back by our feelings. We worry the person has forgotten us, we wonder if we offended them, or we fear rejection.

What does reconnecting look like? Reyna Dominguez, 18, provides a great example. She had the same best friend since first grade. But when Ms. Dominguez moved from Long Island to Brooklyn, her friend began college. Ms. Dominguez started working in a salon and their schedules did not align. About six months passed without any communication.

After graduating from cosmetology school, Ms. Dominguez texted her friend to share the news. “I was a bit anxious that she was not going to respond. But she did, and I was so relieved and happy,” she said. Now they are in touch about once a month and are planning to get together.

“It’s important to stay in touch because sometimes I do get lonely, like I have no one to really talk to,” Ms. Dominguez said. “But with her, she knows all about my life.”

Ms. Dominguez encourages anyone considering reaching out to an old friend to go ahead. “I say just do it. You have nothing to lose,” she said. “I guess the worst they could do is not respond to you, but I feel like you’ll still be happy with the thought, ‘I tried.’”

Do not let reaching out to a friend feel more intimidating than it should be.

Proverbs 11:30 says, “The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends” (NLT). Instead of focusing on your feelings, focus on the opportunity to do a good deed. Be wise about what you say, and you can win your friend back.

Using wisdom goes beyond just what we say or type when getting back in contact. We should also apologize for our actions if we know we did something to cause the rupture. Also, use wisdom when you evaluate which friendships to pursue and which you should allow to lay dormant.

Understanding friendship and the purpose God wants it to fulfill in our lives does not mean we stay in touch with every friend we have ever had. There are simply not enough hours in the day for that. And people can grow apart in ways deeper than distance.

Some people naturally fit better into our life as casual acquaintances rather than best friends. Maybe we get in touch every few months but not all the time. That is fine. There are also people who were once our friends who we may choose to no longer communicate with at all.

We may learn that a person we once knew now has habits, beliefs or values in life that are not compatible with the way we live. The Bible addresses this too: “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man you shall not go: lest you learn his ways, and get a snare to your soul” (Prov. 22:24-25).

Even if we do not personally have a problem with losing our temper, spending time around a person like this would negatively influence us.

We may catch ourselves starting to snap at others, or even if we resist being angry, we could get caught in the crossfire if our friend gets into a heated argument with someone. We should not remain friends with, or seek to rekindle a friendship with, such a person. God uses the example of anger here, but the principle applies to other things too.

And sometimes, we just do not “click” with a person like we used to. Yet another story illustrates that we cannot reconnect every time.

Kim Ventresca, 22, drifted from her best friend while attending college. She reached out a few times and they reconnected when the friend was having a rough time. But they stopped talking again when Ms. Ventresca was going through mental health and relationship challenges. Eventually, the other young woman told Ms. Ventresca she no longer wanted to be friends.

“I’ve got some new friends now, and I feel like it’s probably better because some things happen for a reason,” she said. “I’m hoping that she’s alright and that she is doing OK.”

Does that mean it was all for nothing? No. Ms. Ventresca, who works as a social media manager and receptionist in New Jersey, said she still recommends reaching out to missed friends, even if it is awkward.

“The worst thing that happens is you get ‘left on read’ or delivered or declined,” she said.

The Highest Form of Friendship

There is another important reason God wants us to value friendship. The friendships we make with people point to a higher level of friendship we can achieve: Being friends with God.

Jesus told His disciples, “You are My friends, if you do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you” (John 15:14-15).

Have you ever thought of yourself as being Christ’s friend? This close relationship was not just offered to those who knew Jesus in the flesh in the first century. It is available to Christians today as well.

James 2:23 expands this inspiring picture further. It says, “Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.”

God the Father saw Abraham not just as a servant or someone who could be used to advance His Plan. God saw Abraham as a close personal friend.

The same can be true of us.

However, just as human friendships will not endure if we go on autopilot and do not work at it, we cannot expect to achieve this higher spiritual level of friendship without doing what God says is required. Notice that Jesus said we are His friend if we do what He commands us. And Abraham was only considered God the Father’s friend after Abraham believed.

Abraham showed a deep commitment toward God. He left his homeland as God commanded (Gen. 12:1-4). He obeyed when asked to sacrifice Isaac (22:1-18). Abraham trusted God enough to obey difficult commands, even when he did not understand the outcome. He showed that he was a friend of God through his actions.

In a sense, the Bible is a book all about how to be God’s friend. Every time we live by what the Bible says, we grow in friendship with our Creator.

If we strengthen our relationship with God, our relationships with people will benefit. If we strive to be a good friend to people, that will benefit how we interact with God.

‘Let’s Not Wait Another 20 Years’

After Jennifer Austin’s family moved to Germany, she did not see her childhood best friend again for 20 years until a chance meeting on a New York City subway platform. They reconnected briefly, but contact lapsed again.

Molly’s 2021 visit with one of her children to a college near Ms. Austin’s home provided another chance to restore their friendship.

They have remained close since.

“Something at that point just shifted,” Ms. Austin said. “Things really picked up and we just basically outright said, ‘Let’s just keep this momentum going. Let’s not wait another 20 years.’”

After reconnecting, Jennifer and Molly became committed to being friends once again. Whether they knew it or not, they both wanted to be that “friend that sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24) and the “friend [who] loves at all times” (17:17).

That is the standard we all should strive for.

God designed friendship to be lived, maintained and valued. You can return to and maintain strong friendships even in an age of distance and distraction. And as you do, you reflect the faithfulness of the greatest Friend you can ever have.

This article contains information from The Associated Press.