You hear this term said from the lectern every week at Sabbath services. It is mentioned so commonly throughout the Church that you may have never stopped to really think about what it means.

That term is “brethren.” It appears throughout the Bible, particularly in the New Testament after the establishment of God’s Church. The Greek word it is translated from simply means “brothers.”

In short, when God’s people are referred to as brethren, they are being called brothers and sisters—spiritual siblings.

What does this really mean for us? How exactly does God expect Christian siblings to treat each other?

Before we answer this, let’s look at Cain’s infamous question to God in Genesis 4:9 regarding his younger brother Abel: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The same word for “keeper” in this verse is also used in Psalm 121:5, where God tells us that He is our keeper. “Keeper” means “to hedge about,” to “guard,” “protect” and “attend to.” He expects us to be the same for our spiritual siblings.

What happened with Cain is an extreme example of neglecting his “brother’s keeper” duty. Yet how should we approach this directive? We must look to our eldest sibling, Jesus Christ.

Christ is the “firstborn among many brethren” (Rom. 8:29). He set the right example of what it means to be a true, caring sibling. He established His Church, the “church of the firstborn” (Heb. 12:23), to become like a family.

The apostle Peter further clarified this Christian relationship in his first epistle: “Be you all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (I Pet. 3:8).

Clearly these passages show that followers of Christ are to build fraternal bonds with one another—as if having come from the same womb.

Those who have physical brothers and sisters know it carries a unique level of closeness. They desire to see and help one another succeed. They have each other’s backs, ensuring the wellbeing, safety, development and growth of everyone in the family. They are also comfortable being direct, even if it means discussing problems or delivering a bit of loving correction.

Yet there is a key balance when it comes to helping brothers. Try to insert yourself too much, and you could end up being shrugged off as too nosy or disruptive. If you are too cautious, you run the risk of failing to be your brother’s keeper altogether.

The following four aspects of being a more effective spiritual brother or sister will help you strike the right balance.

Others Before Self

Let’s look more at the account of mankind’s first sibling pair, Cain and Abel. It offers clear insight on what should be our approach and helps to set up the first component.

Cain’s failure in his responsibility started with the wrong attitude. He was self-focused and became jealous of Abel when God was more pleased with his offering. Clearly, the older brother was more concerned with his own status and wanted to be preferred over his younger brother. He elevated himself in his mind.

Christians must be different and aim to follow Paul’s instruction in Philippians 2: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory [meaning self-conceit or great pride in oneself]; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (vs. 3-4).

This is the first component of being your brother’s keeper—putting others before yourself.

Human nature, left to its own devices, promotes self above others. To counter this natural pull, we must consciously focus on others and learn to genuinely care about their interests. Looking after others’ interests cannot be done until you are first interested in them, which takes work. It requires investing the time to get to know your brethren—to talk to them, asking questions to get to know what is going on in their lives. Through this, you may learn of their needs or difficulties and see areas where you can offer support.

Remember that a “friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). Part of our duty as Christians is to help bear one another’s burdens. It could be as simple as offering encouragement with a card filled with thoughtful words when they are discouraged or providing some meals if they are enduring a financial trial.

In Matthew 25, Jesus said that we are ultimately caring and looking out for Him when we serve others: “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, you have done it unto Me” (vs. 40). In verses 35-36, He explains how we do this, “For I was an hungered, and you gave Me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink: I was a stranger, and you took Me in: naked, and you clothed Me: I was sick, and you visited Me: I was in prison, and you came unto Me.”

Again, we can fulfill these acts of service in small ways that help relieve others who are suffering.

Another part of looking out for brethren is seeking to advance their growth. Perhaps you know some who struggle with branching out of their comfort zones socially. You can encourage them and offer advice on making conversation. Or if you notice someone could improve his or her health, you may encourage that person to join you on a diet or exercise program. If you learn that a new member is having difficulty affording proper Sabbath attire, you can go with him to a consignment shop to help him look for clothing that will suit him.

The list of ways to serve is endless. With practice, you will develop a mindset to look for opportunities. Pray for the proper discernment. Even with the best intentions, offenses can happen. Always strive to avoid them.

As you seek to do more for others also pay attention to your habits. Sometimes it is the things you avoid doing that can translate to serving others. For instance, if you find yourself always seeking to dish up first during a social’s potluck lunch, make it a point to wait for others to go in line first. Better yet, find those who are by themselves and offer to walk them to the line and sit with them during the meal.

Recall Philippians 2:3-4. It describes Christ’s mindset of viewing others as better than Himself. We must develop the same way of thinking. Your brothers and sisters—their needs—should be more important to you than your values. This does not come naturally, and we must continue to look up to Christ—our older brother and the second member in the God Family—so that we can develop this godly trait!

We should lay “down our lives for the brethren” by serving and promoting their interests (I John 3:16).

Self Before Others

Being a brother’s keeper requires us to ensure we are properly prepared to fulfill that role. Jesus stated in Matthew 7: “How will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye?” (vs. 4). Here, He points out that people can clearly see specks of sawdust in another person’s eye while a two-by-four beam juts out of their own eye!

We must examine our own lives for areas we fall short and address them before seeking to help others. Remember that we are to work out our own salvation. Before we can be helpful to others, we should “first cast out [pull out] the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye” (vs. 5).

Yet notice that we are to help our brethren with these mote-sized problems!

This can involve situations between members in your congregation, co-workers, husbands and wives or other family members. For instance, you may notice that a new Church member only drinks unhealthy soda all the time, without ever having a sip of water. You can gently, kindly let them know that consuming sugary drinks leads to many health problems. Let the person know you want them to be healthy and enjoy God’s abundant life. You may even mention some literature on the topic.

In such instances, we should always keep the Golden Rule in mind: “Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them…” (Matt. 7:12). We are to “do unto others as we would have them do unto us.”

Notice Christ says this should be applied across the board, in “all things.” We know how we would like to be treated in any given situation. Do you respond with a “soft answer” when met with anger or do you counter it with “grievous words” (Prov. 15:1), thus making the situation worse?

Always keep the Golden Rule in mind when approaching a spiritual sibling about a “mote in their eye.”

Before helping someone else, examine your motivation. Part of what Christ described in Matthew 7:4 is a wrong attitude of superiority. Do you sincerely look out for others’ interests and success? Or do you simply point out all the areas where they are “wrong”? Do you view yourself as “having all the answers”? God says that, if we are going to help someone with an issue, we must have the humility to first recognize our own faults (II Tim. 2:25).

Balance Needed

The third component of being an effective keeper is timing—knowing when to help and in what situations trying to help could do more harm than good. It is important to ask: “Is this the best time to address this?” and “Am I the right person in this situation to go and talk to my brother?”

Judgment and discernment are required to know when not to get involved and when to do so. We should always consider what is going to be best for others’ interests and success. Be careful that your involvement is not going to make a matter worse or cause opportunity for offense and bitterness. Sometimes we can think we are giving helpful input when we are only expressing our own opinions.

Think about whether what you plan to say will build up or put down. We should ensure that our communication is “good to the use of edifying [meaning to build up], that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Eph. 4:29).

Equally important, looking out for others’ business has limitations. Steer away from meddling in a situation that does not involve you. Proverbs 26 warns what happens when people insert themselves where they do not belong: “He that passes by, and meddles with strife belonging not to him, is like one that takes a dog by the ears” (vs. 17). Pray that God would give you the wisdom on how to handle a situation, recognizing that sometimes that means not getting involved.

Another aspect of guarding your brother’s wellbeing is using discretion. Letting out personal or sensitive information—even by accident—can devastate a person’s trust in you and create more problems in the end. The Bible compares sharing secrets to fueling an inferno: “Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceases” (vs. 20).

Do not broadcast a fellow brother’s mistakes and sins to others. “Love covers all sins” (Prov. 10:12), and a loving brother’s keeper will conceal or “cover” mistakes to prevent a fire from spreading. This is what you would expect of others when they are privy to your shortcomings.

However, this does not mean hiding salvation-threatening sins from the ministry. If you are aware that a fellow member is entangled in sin that will disqualify him to “inherit the Kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:20-21), encourage the member to counsel with God’s minister on these spiritual issues. If you know he has not reached out to counsel, then you should make the minister aware before the member’s problem takes him out of the Church.

Approach each situation prayerfully and with humility. The apostle Paul urged members in Galatia that “if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering yourself, lest you also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1).

Where Matthew 5 Meets Matthew 18

The fourth component of being an effective brother’s keeper is knowing how to resolve offenses with others.

Christ knew that offenses would be inevitable. There will always be misunderstandings or mistakes that occur in relationships, and it is important to understand how to work them out. In Matthew 5, Jesus expounded on a fail-safe system to ensure offenses are addressed appropriately: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave there your gift before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (vs. 23-24).

If you realize you caused someone to be offended, the responsibility lies with you to discuss it with your brother. You must do the same if you feel someone else wronged you.

This is where Matthew 5 and 18 meet. Notice chapter 18 states “if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone” (vs. 15). Matthew 5 discusses an offense that you caused, and Matthew 18 describes a fellow brother wronging you. In both cases, you have action that you must take!

It is hard to talk to others about issues, particularly if they were your fault. This is where we must humble ourselves and look out for their wellbeing also. Hurt feelings and misunderstandings can easily fester and allow a root of bitterness to develop. We must take care to immediately address a problem before this happens (Heb. 12:15).

The book of James admonishes brethren to “confess your faults one to another” (5:16). When others bring up their errors, be clear you have forgiven them. Talk it through and discuss ways to avoid repeating the issue.

Unity

God is building a Divine Family. He wants you and every human being to be a part of it for all eternity! He nourishes, guards, protects and keeps those He bought with a price. He wants His people to succeed together—He wants us to have this “same care one for another” (I Cor. 12:25).

Strife, contention, gossip, anger, hurt feelings and pride breaks relationships apart, and ultimately pulls people away from God. Those who cannot agree are unable to “walk together” (Amos 3:3), and thus they fail to stay together.

Effectively learning to be your brother’s keeper not only promotes individual growth, but also fosters peace and unity in the Church. It helps us learn to manage and govern our lives—and how to work through issues by always striving to put others first.

The Father and Christ always walk in perfect unity (John 10:30). They have the same mind, judgment and goal to replicate themselves in people. To reach the same goal, entering the Family of God, we as brothers and sisters in the Church of God should continue to walk in the same unity.

Guard, protect, look out and care for one another. In “lowliness of mind” promote each other’s interests and growth by putting others first.

Instead of asking “Am I my brother’s keeper?” as Cain did, we should emphatically say: “I am my brother’s keeper!”