“I don’t ever hear you talk about your Christmas plans. Why?”

“Why weren’t you at the game Friday night?…You keep the Sabbath?…Are you Jewish?”

“What is this Feast of Tabernacles you mentioned? Did you seriously miss school for a whole week?”

“Wait—you don’t eat pepperoni?”

Living God’s Way invites a lot of questions. The world today is a diverse blend of cultures and beliefs, yet you still stand out. People at school, work and even in your own family ask questions as they notice things about you.

When challenging conversations come out of the blue, they can catch us off guard. But feeling your heart rate quicken and your tongue dry up are not signs of weakness. We have all gone through nerve-wracking situations like these. What matters is how we choose to respond.

We live in a debate-heavy society. Social media rewards hot takes and arguments, and it can make us feel like we need to “win” discussions about our beliefs.

Jumping into fiery arguments is one wrong response. Another is responding with shame and apprehension.

The Bible reveals the approach God wants us to take. I Peter 3:15 says: “Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you.”

We should prepare ourselves and be ready for these interactions and then proceed to give wise answers when asked. Yet this single verse does not tell the whole story.

The apostle Paul told Timothy, a young man in the faith, “Don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights” (II Tim. 2:23, New Living Translation). There are also times we may need to guide the conversation away from religion or gracefully cut the interaction short.

Learning how to talk about your beliefs, and how not to, is a skill you can build over time. Together, these and other verses reveal a balance. God wants you ready to answer, but wise enough not to argue.

Sharing the Hope Within You

Now read the entirety of I Peter 3:15: “Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.”

Keep in mind that Peter did not say “defend your beliefs” or “prove your point.” He said to give an answer. Digging more into the verse reveals just how you can do this.

The opening command to sanctify God in our hearts is a little hard to understand in the King James language. It includes holding on to what He teaches us—keeping His Way inside us—but it also means giving God a place of honor in our thoughts and decisions.

Whenever you learn or review the teachings of the Bible, you are moving toward being ready to give an answer. That knowledge can be there for you when you need it.

You do not have to know everything. If you do things like pay attention during Sabbath services, study your notes, take advantage of Church literature and videos, and ask your parents and minister questions when needed, you can develop a basic foundation of God’s Way.

Think of common subjects you might be asked about and try to have one specific Bible verse at hand that supports your belief. “I don’t eat pork because the Bible says not to” is not a bad answer, but it is not as clear as something like, “I do not eat pork because Leviticus 11:7 says pigs are unclean. I believe God has my best interests in mind, so I follow that instruction.”

When you give your answer, aim to give a thoughtful, sincere, honest explanation—rather than a quick, defensive reply. Even if you have been asked the same question about a belief a thousand times, resist the temptation to deflect or ignore it.

Notice the end of I Peter 3:15. It says that your answers should be motivated by hope, meekness and fear—not pride, pressure or worry of embarrassment. Having the right attitude makes a big difference in how the other person might react.

They may then have follow-up questions or ask you to clarify something you said. Or, satisfied with your response, they could change subjects. Simply answer the specific question they asked and let them dig deeper if they want.

What does answering with hope look like? “I do this because my parents make me” does not cut it. Look to explain your beliefs in a way that shows how living according to the Bible impacts you. You might say something like, “I choose to do this because I’ve seen that God’s Way works—it helps me in my life.”

For example, an answer of “Christmas is pagan and evil” can cause unnecessary conflict. A better approach might be: “I’ve looked into the origins of Christmas, and I don’t believe it’s something God wants me to keep. Instead, I honor Jesus Christ in the ways the Bible describes—such as keeping the Holy Days He observed.”

Building the skill of giving wise answers allows you to discuss your religious beliefs thoughtfully without causing needless offense.

Avoiding Debate

A debate is different from a simple conversation or Q&A. It is, as Merriam-Webster Dictionary puts it, “a contention by words or arguments.” Debates are about winning, not understanding.

Some people ask questions because they sincerely want to know about your beliefs. Others ask questions to try to make you feel uncomfortable, score points in front of their friends, or catch you in an embarrassing moment.

Use wisdom to evaluate the situation. Sometimes, you can tell from how a question is asked that it is not coming in good faith, and you should not engage with the person. In other situations, what started as a normal interaction can veer toward argument, and you need to de-escalate or change the subject.

Some warning signs to look for when someone wants to argue: They keep pushing after you answer. Their tone turns sarcastic. They try to get others watching. They do not listen. They criticize you as a person instead of engaging with what you said. The list could go on.

When you start seeing these signs, that is when verses like II Timothy 2:23 become essential: “Don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights” (NLT). When possible, avoid bad interactions out of the gate.

But this will not always be possible. When you need to de-escalate, consider saying something like, “I think we have heard each other out, and it is time to move on.” Or you could say, “Let’s agree to disagree. You have your view, and I have mine.” If you feel like you need to leave the situation, you could excuse yourself with something like: “I need to get to class. I’ll see you later.”

God does not want His people to participate in debates, regardless of how they begin.

Romans 1:29 lists “debate” alongside many other serious forms of wrong conduct, including fornication and murder. We should never throw Bible verses into the faces of others to make ourselves feel good or to humiliate another person, even if they started it.

We can also unwittingly kindle an argument ourselves if we are not careful. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus Christ said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast you your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”

This verse does not say it is OK to view people as dogs or swine. Jesus used this vivid illustration to catch our attention and make an important point: We should not give people more than they can handle.

By saying too much about God’s truth to those who are not ready to hear it, the other person could feel like we are shoving our beliefs down their throat. A negative response is sure to follow.

Back to II Timothy 2. Paul continued by showing the mindset we should have: “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people” (II Tim. 2:24, NLT).

Being kind, patient and wise will help you keep control of conversations. And if an interaction stops being respectful, you can guide the conversation elsewhere or politely move on.

Set the Right Example

God has given everyone in the Church, young and old, the opportunity to be “ambassadors for Christ” (II Cor. 5:20). An ambassador simply means a representative. We represent Christ in all that we do, including how we talk about our religious beliefs.

These interactions give us an opportunity to fulfill Matthew 5:16: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” A wise response, providing a respectful and thoughtful answer that does not lead to debate, shines a light that others can see.

You will not be perfect at talking about your beliefs all at once. Answering well is something you get better at, just like any other skill.

Do not beat yourself up if you make mistakes. You might answer too fast because you are nervous. You might overshare and realize later you said too much. You might feel awkward and wish you handled it differently.

What is important is that you keep trying and improve over time. Tell your parents and people you know in your congregation how it is going. They will probably share their own interesting stories about giving an answer for you to learn from.

Proverbs 11:30 says, “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that wins souls is wise.” Winning souls means winning people over—earning their respect.

If you conduct yourself the right way, others may not agree with your beliefs, but they can accept your answers. In the process, you could also win some peace and quiet for yourself.

With God’s help, you can avoid the ditch of debating and the ditch of shrinking away. You can achieve the balance God wants for you. When you talk about your religious beliefs, your answers can reflect Proverbs 25:11 by being “a word fitly spoken…like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

The right words at the right time make a real impact.