As with all of God’s laws, the command to honor your father and mother can be viewed one of two ways: either as a benefit or a burden.

God gave ancient Israel—His children—the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai to guide and benefit them. Throughout its history, however, Israel cycled through periods of keeping God’s commands and breaking them. When they obeyed, the kingdom fared well, but rebellion brought punishment and captivity. Overall, Israel came to see God’s commands as a burden.

Similarly, many of man’s laws are seen as an inconvenient obligation with no benefit except to avoid punishment. These attitudes trickle into households, with children being encouraged to be disobedient. Some experts see rebellion as a normal curiosity and learning behavior. Some even believe that obedience hampers a child’s ability to stand up for himself, making him more vulnerable to be bullied.

Although obedience to parents is often painted as negative, God’s Fifth Commandment to honor your father and mother is a key to unlocking many benefits. The Bible shows how sons and daughters should honor their parents, and what they gain when they do so.

(1) Why should you value God’s commands? Psalm 19:7-11.

Keeping God’s Law is not a burden. Instead, God intended everyone to reap the rewards of keeping His Law. It is only by keeping—doing—them that you will fully experience “great reward.”

(2) Review the Fifth Commandment. What benefits come with keeping it? Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6:1-2.

God commands you to obey and honor your father and mother. Notice in the command that God describes Himself as a giver—He gave you your parents. You should see your parents as a gift from Him. Their job and desire are to take care of you and provide you with what you need for life. Appreciating your physical parents will in turn help you establish a relationship with your spiritual Parent, the Father God. Thus, a key benefit that comes from obeying the Fifth Commandment is you become actively involved in learning God’s way of life at an early age.

Notice two more effects of honoring your parents. The first is a long life. Deuteronomy adds another element—“that it may go well with you.” “Go well” can mean “happy,” “successful,” “be better” and “benefit.”

Put together, you will experience a long, happy life if you keep this command!

(3) What does it mean to “honor” your parents? Proverbs 1:8-9.

“Honor” in Ephesians can mean “to prize,” “revere” and “value.” Not only should you value your parents, but their instruction should be valued akin to gemstones or jewelry.

Your parents are treasure troves of knowledge and experience. Of all people you know, they have your best interest at heart. No matter how many setbacks you experience, they are always there for you. They are your closest teachers, and you are their stewardship.

(4) Does human nature, which is also Satan’s nature, naturally obey God’s Law? Romans 1:30; Proverbs 10:1.

Ultimately, human nature sees instruction and laws as burdensome. If left unchecked, you will instinctively disobey.

Obedience is a choice. Your father and mother provide you with the direction you need to make right choices. By choosing to obey them, you show them the honor they deserve.

(5) What blessings come with obeying your parents? Proverbs 4:10, 22; 6:20-24.

These verses support the promises in Exodus and Deuteronomy by showing you will have long life and physical well-being if you listen to your parents’ instruction. By listening and submitting to their instruction, you will develop character traits that will remain through the rest of your life.

(6) What else has your very first role in life, being a child, been designed to teach you? Psalm 127:3; Colossians 3:20.

You are a gift from God to your parents. This establishes the order of authority—you are subject to them. Once you are an adult and married, your children will be subject to you.

(7) How do parents feel when children obey or disobey them? Proverbs 10:1; 23:15.

Nothing makes parents happier than to see their children prosper. “Glad” and “rejoice” both mean “to brighten up” and make “gleesome.”

On the other hand, acting foolishly is “heaviness” or “grief” to your parents.

(8) What are ways you could dishonor your parents? Proverbs 19:26; 20:20; 28:7, 24.

These verses show the following ways you can bring shame to your parents:

• “He that wastes his father” and “chases away his mother” essentially means to resist or literally run away from your parents.
• Cursing or “making light” of your parents’ words.
• Befriending riotous people. Mixing in with a rebellious crowd can lead you down a bad path of using alcohol or drugs, sexual sins and perversity and getting in trouble with authority.
• Theft. Remember that you live in a home your parents own and they provide everything to you. Even damaging their property is a form of theft.
• Shamelessness—committing crimes against your parents and being calloused toward their feelings and well-being.

Much more could be added. All of these behaviors and characteristics are hurtful to parents because they know their children are really hurting themselves.

(9) What are ways you honor your parents? Proverbs 13:1; 23:15-26.

The command to honor your parents is deeper than it first appears. Proverbs 13:1 shows it begins with hearing, which in the Hebrew means “to hear intelligently (often with implication of attention, obedience).” A wise son is attentive and obedient to his father’s instruction, which means “chastisement,” “reproof, warning,” “instruction” or “restraint.”

The passage in Proverbs 23 details some instructions that, if kept, bring honor to the family name.

• Do not envy those who misbehave.
• Fear (reverence) God “all the day long.”
• Be optimistic and hopeful for the future.
• Stay away from parties where alcohol, sex and riotous behavior are involved.
• Develop a lifelong relationship with your father and mother, regardless of age.
• “Buy the truth.” This means you must actively seek God’s truth yourself. Even though you are sanctified by God through the calling of one or both of your parents, it is your decision and responsibility to seek baptism and conversion. It is not automatic.
• Buy wisdom, instruction and understanding. “Buy” means to “create,” “procure” or “own.” You must actively pursue and figuratively purchase—make sacrifices to obtain—these qualities.

(10) What does your obedience to parental authority reveal about your future? I Corinthians 7:14; Colossians 3:20; Ephesians 6:3.

Although you are not yet a baptized member of God’s Church, you are sanctified by your parents. You have direct access to God through prayer!

In Ephesians, the word “obey” can also mean to conform to a command or authority. To conform means to become “similar in form, nature and character.”

Obedience to parents now helps you obey God throughout your life.

Rather than an inconvenience, annoyance or burden, God always intended His commandments be viewed as valuable and special. We should view His Law from His perspective. By doing so, you are preparing yourself, through the loving guidance of your parents, to one day be conformed to the form, nature and character of your ultimate parent—God the Father.