A group of teenagers loiter in front of a gas station. A boy kicks a piece of garbage, a girl’s fingers fly across her cellphone as she texts a friend, and another teenager leans against his car, drinking soda. Customers and passersby wonder, Don’t they have anything better to do? The gas station attendant contemplates calling the police to break them up.

You have probably seen this, or perhaps been in a similar situation with friends. You meet intending to do something, but no one can think of, or decide on, an activity. Left uninspired and unmotivated, the group resigns to just “hang out.”

Many teenagers want something to do. In fact, they crave activities and new experiences. But they either do not have the opportunity, or do not take the initiative to organize an activity or group date. Sometimes laziness and lack of drive stand in the way.

Do not let this be you! With knowledge, some creativity and the right planning, you can organize an effective, meaningful and fun group date!

Understanding the Purpose

A date, as defined by Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary, is “an appointment for a specified time…a social engagement between two persons of opposite sex.” A group date is the same, except it involves more than two people. This generally ranges from a group of about six to eight. Simply put, it is a gathering of young adults to enjoy an activity. These fun, wholesome events can begin for those as young as 16 years old.

Why is group dating important? Is it just an activity to “kill time,” or meet people? Group dating is more than just having fun with friends. These activities provide an opportunity to develop your personality, learn about the opposite sex, build character, learn to better communicate, enjoy fun activities and improve in social graces, among other goals.

Before examining practical points of organizing a group date, we must first understand more about the purpose.

One of the main goals of group dating is to develop personality. By participating in different activities, you gain a broader range of experience and become a better-rounded person. Fellowshipping with others of like-mind will expose you to various personality types, develop your sense of humor, and allow you to learn from them and see how they interact. Those with mature and developed personalities can converse and relate to all kinds of people. Wouldn’t you like to have a more interesting personality? Group dating can help this!

Group activities also provide an opportunity to learn about the opposite sex. Although this comes more naturally to certain people, everyone can grow to be more relaxed around those of the opposite gender. Strive to understand and be comfortable around them, and appreciate the differences between the sexes. You can start to learn which personalities make you most comfortable, which will give you a stronger foundation when you are old enough to date one-on-one.

Where to Begin?

Now that you understand the purposes of group dating, start with an idea. Maybe there is a fun activity you have in mind, or some friends you would like to fellowship with, but are unsure of what to do. Develop the idea and begin to form a plan. Be sure to engage your parents. Get their ideas. They should be involved in the planning, and you should have their permission.

First, think about whom you should invite. Although you will want to include people who might often be overlooked, realize that you do not have to invite every single person to every event. Be careful that the activity does not grow so large that it becomes an unauthorized “social.” It is acceptable to limit the date to a smaller group, or a particular age range. If activities become more frequent, everyone will be included, just at different times. The Feast of Tabernacles is a perfect time to organize activities. Make this a goal at this year’s Feast.

Second, choose an activity. Think of something that all in the group will enjoy, and maybe something they have not done. This will provide others a chance to broaden their experiences. Some ideas include ice-skating, fishing, hiking, playing sports or attending a game, sledding, eating out at a restaurant, touring a museum, and more. Be creative! And be sure to plan something everyone can afford. The event does not have to be expensive or extravagant to be successful.

Recognize the importance of planning. Think ahead. Who is driving? How is the activity being paid for? What time will it begin and end? This will take some effort and forethought, but it is important.

Next comes the time to invite the group. First, it is best not to approach someone by sharply asking, “What are you doing tonight?” This forces the person to tell you his or her plans, while not giving any idea what activity you are planning. This could make the invitee uncomfortable and put them on the defensive.

Instead, approach an individual in an easy, “no pressure” manner. Give them an idea of the activity, when it is and who is going. Then leave the option open, make it clear they are invited, and that you would love it if they came. Present the activity in a way that they will feel comfortable not accepting the invitation if they are unable to join the group. Also, rarely do you want to invite people in a group setting. This will create confusion with some being able to attend, others not being able, and still others needing to check with parents before agreeing.

The Event!

After meditating on the purpose, much brainstorming and planning, and inviting friends—the date has come! Make it your goal to show others a good time. Make them feel special. In dating, little things mean a lot. Be a gentleman or a lady, and assist others with needs they might have. Do not expect everything to go perfectly—if unexpected things arise, see it as an opportunity to learn flexibility.

Keep in mind conversation throughout the date. Take the lead in fostering it. Through conversation, a group can share wholesome ideas or practical things they are learning at school or work. Bring up positive and uplifting topics. This is a wonderful chance to learn to communicate better.

If you have difficulty prompting conversation, learn more about the world around you. Add depth to your fund of knowledge. Read books, newspapers or educational magazines, or study topics that interest you. There is nothing wrong with brainstorming before the activity so you have a few ideas to discuss when it happens.

Also, use group dates as an opportunity to become a better listener. Ask others about their lives. Be attentive and engaged. Take genuine interest in them. Active listening is one of the greatest ways to make others feel comfortable and help them have an enjoyable time. In fact, this is the most important aspect of conversation.

Remember, as you are just beginning to date, your focus must not be to “get serious” with anyone. Do not allow yourself to become attached to one person. There should never be “pairing off” during an activity. Constantly remind yourself of the purposes of group dating, and do not assume you are ready to “handle” a serious, romantic relationship. Focus on the right purposes of it and the opportunities it provides.

Most importantly, enjoy yourself!

Practicing the above points to organize a group date, while keeping its fundamental purposes in mind, will reap wonderful rewards. You will find that the more activities you plan and the more people you include, the more they will see the benefits. It will build momentum. You will, in turn, inspire others to plan activities, and will be invited to join them on group dates. Your initiative may help create an exciting environment of activity!

Organize a group date—you will love the results, and soon discover you have a new hobby!