True femininity is a fine art. Proverbs 31:10 states that the value of a virtuous woman is worth more than rubies. Just as a beautiful necklace takes much thought, shaping, arranging and polishing to craft, so it is with developing femininity.

It is clear from looking at men and women that God intentionally made women different. Female bodies are designed to nurture and support. They have higher, more soothing voices and are physically weaker, with softer skin and more delicate muscle tone.

To aid in their nurturing role, women are also more emotional than men. It is easier for them to express care, concern, love and joy. This was intentional.

Better understanding and appreciating what makes you special and unique will help you exhibit true femininity.

Outward Grace

From the outside, real womanhood is the way you present yourself—your dress, appearance, and mannerisms. True femininity involves dressing with subtle elegance rather than vainly focusing on calling attention to yourself.

With this in mind, a lady should avoid wearing anything that goes to the extremes of being too tight, too revealing, too short, or too low. Clothing can complement a person’s figure without showing every curve. In fact, it is a rule in fashion that the more a person covers, the dressier he or she is.

What you wear is key in how you portray—and thus advertise—yourself. The world’s dress is trending toward tighter, smaller and more revealing. It is best to avoid following this and to instead stick to classic styles.

Outfits that meet this description can be found! With a little patience and persistence, you can often discover great deals on high-quality clothing at resale stores. Many women in God’s Church find shopping at thrift and consignment shops to be an exciting and fun way to develop their own styles. This kind of activity can be enjoyed with your mother, older sister, or a mentor within the Church.

Feminine hair should be kept within the Bible’s standards of being long enough to cover the neck and ears when worn “down.” It should be clean and well-groomed—never messy or appearing that you just rolled out of bed! Again, aim for classic styles rather than trying to keep up with hairstyles of the world, which are currently becoming shorter and more masculine.

It has been said that little girls are made of “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Live up to this saying by ensuring that you practice good hygiene. Shower daily, brush your teeth, and apply deodorant to be considerate of others and avoid embarrassment. Be mindful of oily hair and dandruff, which are not becoming of a lady.

Of all the things you put on each day, your smile is most important. This is especially the case with true femininity. A woman who smiles often conveys friendliness and happiness. The Proverbs 31 woman is described as one who “rejoices” (vs. 25).

Not feeling very happy? Studies have shown that just by smiling you will begin to feel better. Go ahead, smile at others in the hallways on your way to class, and at an after-school job—and see if it does not make them smile too.

Another way you can display femininity is through your posture and bodily movements. Stand up straight with your shoulders back—this conveys both confidence and elegance. When you are sitting, strive to keep this same posture. Think of a queen or princess—you would never see either slumped over a computer! When picking something up, bend at the knees rather than the waist, maintaining the same good posture.

Also take note of the way you walk. Do you stomp around or glide? Do you walk like a cowboy or a ballerina? Clearly, you would want to strive for the latter!

Take good care of your health. You will feel better and appear more vibrant if you choose food wisely and exercise. Even the Proverbs 31 woman is strong: “She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms” (vs. 17). Do not neglect opportunities to exercise, both at school and outside of school. Research and put into practice both resistance training and aerobic exercise, which will help you stay physically fit.

In addition, strive to learn proper etiquette and social graces. Etiquette expert Emily Post’s older books are great resources to learn how to properly dine at the dinner table, how to introduce yourself, how to write a thank - you note, and more! There are also many Ambassador Youth articles that touch on these subjects.

Inward Beauty

Outward grace and beauty is not everything, however. Enhance your inner beauty by developing character. Femininity, in many ways, is an attitude or mindset. Because God created women to have a nurturing role, a truly feminine woman takes on the attitude of a helper, servant and encourager. To develop this, fill your mind with God’s Word, good thoughts, and a positive outlook.

True womanhood does not mean that you should just robotically cook dinner, fold laundry, and vacuum. A lady should develop a unique personality and diverse interests. This includes having a sense of humor. Ecclesiastes 3:4 states that there is “a time to laugh.” Be joyful. Laugh often—just make sure it is with others, not at others.

Unlike the drama queens seen in movies, true femininity requires self-control and stability. To be a “real woman,” you do not have to complain and be the center of attention through emotional outbursts. In fact, true femininity is quite the opposite!

God describes the Proverbs 31 woman as being clothed with “strength and honor” and allowing only wisdom and kindness to proceed out of her mouth (vs. 25-26). While everything around you is falling apart, be the grounded one on which others can depend.

Femininity in Action

Given that proper femininity involves an attitude of service and care for others, put this principle into practice by recognizing opportunities to serve and help. Look around you and evaluate how you can assist with whatever is needed.

At services, watch children for other members so they can fellowship. Help other women set up for potlucks and snacks. If you are unsure what to do, ask one of the ladies if you can watch and learn from her—just make sure that you eventually stop watching and start doing! Try to find ways to help others throughout the week as well.

In the spirit of Ecclesiastes 9:10, do your best with all your work. Go above and beyond the norm to please your parents, teachers and employers.

Strive to become intellectually well-rounded. Read widely. Use schoolwork as an opportunity to increase your bank of knowledge and expand your vocabulary. This will assist you in becoming a more skilled conversationalist.

As a lady, strive to lead others in your class through a positive example. Inspire those around you to succeed.

Take interest in and learn traditional feminine duties such as cooking, laundry, sewing, decorating and babysitting. These will not only make you feel more feminine, but they will be valuable tools both now and later in life when you marry.

A common misconception is that true femininity is about living in a state of helplessness. But it is quite the opposite!

Read all of Proverbs 31. A feminine woman is diligent and resourceful. While it is proper and good etiquette to allow men to do “heavy lifting,” learn to do things for yourself. Learn how to change a car tire, sew on buttons, or respond in an emergency.

In the event that there is a young man present to help you, however, let him learn proper etiquette by allowing him to open doors, pull out chairs, or stand when you enter a room.

With some thought and a little bit of work, you can sparkle like a beautiful jeweled necklace. You can become a picture of true femininity!