What is the deadliest weapon in the world? Some might say a nuclear bomb, or maybe the latest military technology such as a laser-guided missile. Others may even point to chemical weapons.

But these answers are all wrong.

The world’s deadliest weapon is one we carry with us every day. It is with us when we wake up in the morning; it is with us throughout the day. It is even with us while we sleep. This is a device that is continually at our disposal. In fact, looking at mankind’s history, this weapon has ultimately been responsible for the deaths of multiple millions of people.

What is this devastatingly lethal weapon? It is right in your mouth—the tongue!

Your tongue emits words that are intercepted by others. Have you sometimes found that your words get you into trouble? Have you ever said something you regretted? Perhaps you were acting under anger and made hurtful, cutting remarks, only to regret them later. What we say and how we say it can impact our lives, as well as the lives of those around us. This is why it is important to think before speaking.

God’s Word contains much wise advice on the proper use of the tongue. Applying this knowledge will improve your ability to interact properly with others, help to retain friends and even make new ones. So grab your Bible, some paper and a pencil and let’s see what God has to say about the tongue.

(1) You have probably heard the expression, “There’s a time and a place for everything.” Though most may not realize it, this saying actually comes from the Bible. Look at Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7. Speaking at the proper time is just as important as what we say.

(2) When we speak, should we say the first thing that comes to our mind? Or should we pause to think before saying it? Proverbs 29:20; 15:28; James 1:19.

There’s an old saying, “First engage the brain before putting the mouth in gear!” It may be tempting, especially when angry, to say the first thing that comes to mind. But resist! Pause for a few seconds and think about what to say. When you speak impulsively, your words will most likely be driven by emotion. If you take time to consider, you may decide to keep your mouth closed and wait for a better opportunity to respond. Strive to ensure that whatever you say is appropriate for the occasion.

(3) In what way do our words impact the lives of others? Study and summarize the verses in James 3:2-10. God’s Word records that mankind cannot tame the tongue because it is the instrument through which the mind speaks. Without control, the mind or heart of a person is capable of producing a great deal of evil. (See Jeremiah 17:9.) For instance, can careless and improper words stir up resentment and anger, and provoke fighting? Proverbs 18:6-7; 12:18 (first part). In contrast, can properly chosen and tactful words be soothing and beneficial? Proverbs 12:18 (last part), vs. 25; Prov. 15:4; 16:24.

Every day we come into contact with friends, family, teachers, employers, among many others. What we say and how we say it will have either a positive or negative effect, not only on them, but on us as well. The words we use in conversation form the impression of our personality. Once spoken, inappropriate words cannot be retrieved. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived (I Kings 3:11-12), understood the importance of being careful with words.

(4) Can a person who gives a right answer at the appropriate time expect to experience joy and delight? Proverbs 15:23; 25:11. Will he spare himself from trouble? Proverbs 21:23.

Recognize that sometimes certain thoughts are better left unsaid. It is better not to say something than to deal with the aftermath of a rash word!

(5) Notice the effect that words can have on an angry person. Will soft (gracious and polite) words calm him? Will harsh, insulting words only make him angrier? Proverbs 15:1.

Stinging words have a confrontational effect and lead an angry person to think that his anger is warranted. This could further upset him and cause him to harm or physically attack you. By remaining calm and using words of appeasement, the situation can be defused and a confrontation avoided.

(6) Did Solomon stress the importance of always telling the truth? Proverbs 19:9; 20:17; 12:19, 22. Is it one of the Ten Commandments? Exodus 20:16. Does God say He hates lying? Proverbs 6:16-19.

There can be temptation to mislead others by exaggerating stories in an attempt to impress them, or twisting the facts in your favor to avoid criticism. Do not fall into this trap! If you were to sit down and analyze your day, how many lies would you find you had uttered? Due to habit, and because the natural mind is deceitful, we often lie without realizing it. Honesty is always the best policy, even if it hurts. Dishonesty will only lead to more lying.

Also avoid making hasty promises, as you may find you are unable to keep them. Backing out of a promise, in effect, causes you to be a liar, and damages your credibility (Ecc. 10:1). Make sure you will be able to follow through with your promises before making them.

(7) Some people talk too much, even when they do not have much to say. They dominate conversations, with their tongue spitting out words nonstop. Would such a person be wiser if he spared his words? Proverbs 15:2; 10:19; 17:27-28.

It is helpful to think about your comments before speaking. Ask yourself if your thoughts are going to be helpful. If in doubt, do not speak. Simply listen.

Why is listening important? Constantly talking may cause you to miss important details. You could also slip into answering a matter before you know the complete picture (Proverbs 18:13). Listening well will help you to build friendships.

(8) Certainly we have all met boasters who brag about their abilities, achievements or lofty plans. Such individuals attempt to put an exclamation mark on their importance. Should a person think twice before boasting? Proverbs 27:1; James 3:5. Should he let someone else praise him instead? Proverbs 27:2.

It is much more rewarding to receive recognition from someone else, such as a teacher or employer, than to heap praise on yourself. Words of praise will also be received with much more credibility coming from someone else.

(9) We live in an amoral world in which most anything is acceptable to talk about. Are there certain topics we should avoid discussing? Ephesians 5:3-4, 11-12.

God tells us that the tongue of the righteous should be like “choice silver” (Prov. 10:20-21). In other words, your talk should be refined, purged of all dross, so that it becomes like pure silver.

(10) Will a wise person refrain from criticizing, putting people down or gossiping about others? Proverbs 11:12-13. What are the harmful effects of gossip? Proverbs 16:28; 17:9; 26:20-21.

More friendships have probably been destroyed by this purveyor of evil than any other. Gossip can maliciously ruin reputations and bring relationships to an abrupt end.

Most think that for a tale to qualify as gossip it must be untrue. This is not the case. Even a true story can still be gossip. You need to be sure before repeating a matter that it will not cause harm to the person you are talking about. If you know of something that could injure the credibility and reputation of that person, don’t repeat it.

Gossip harms the reputation of the perpetrator as well. No one wants to confide in such a person! Determine in your mind not to tear down others by your words. Instead, be positive—use your tongue profitably, uttering words that uplift and build up others, as well as yourself.

(11) Is it better to encourage others? I Thessalonians 5:11; Ephesians 4:29.

Use your tongue as an instrument of righteousness to benefit others. God’s way of life teaches that we are to have outgoing concern for the welfare of others. We can do this by encouraging people to do their best, to excel in all areas of life. By striving to look at the good attributes of someone else’s character, we are less likely to focus on their faults and shortcomings.

(12) Is there a biblical principle that will help to govern our choice of words and ultimately ensure that our speech is positively received? Matthew 7:12.

Imagine how much better this world would be if everyone practiced just this one principle. It has a reciprocating effect. How? Because people will often treat us the same way we treat them. Our manner of speech can have the greatest bearing on one’s attitude toward us. Being friendly and honest, and sincerely striving to encourage others, will motivate them to do the same for us.

(13) King David did not always do the right thing, but despite his shortcomings, God said he (David) was a man after His (God’s) own heart. Acts 13:22. Was King David careful about what he said? Psalm 39:1. Did he seek help from God to control his tongue? Psalm 19:14; 141:3.

King David knew that he would not be able to control his tongue by his own efforts. He knew he had to seek additional help from God.

(14) If we follow the example of King David, can we expect God to give us wisdom to temper our speech, if we ask Him? James 1:5; Proverbs 2:6-7; 3:5-6; Isaiah 50:4. If you are an individual who has trouble controlling his tongue, then you have a problem that is far too big for you alone to bring under control. Is it possible for a person to tame his tongue by himself? James 3:7-8.

Do you now see what you are fighting against? You must ask God daily for the wisdom to say the right thing at the right time. If you sincerely desire wisdom, and are striving to please and obey God (I John 3:22), He will give it to you.

(15) Will the person who exercises discretion—who thinks before he speaks—who says what is proper and truthful—experience numerous blessings and benefits? Proverbs 13:3; 16:13; 22:11; I Peter 3:10-11.

The Bible, along with human experience, shows that failing to exercise control over your tongue can create needless problems. When you recognize how much trouble the tongue can cause, it might make you want to say nothing at all! But this is not the answer. Sometimes it is just as wrong to say nothing as it is to say the wrong thing.

All of the scriptural admonitions in this Bible Study should not be viewed negatively and cause you to become fearful of opening your mouth. Rather, these verses should be taken as wise counsel, to show how to use your tongue properly and effectively. It is not God’s will for us to be fearful of opening our mouths, but it is His will for us to learn to speak with discretion, wisdom and consideration for others.