The book of Proverbs is truly a treasure chest of wisdom, understanding and instruction. In this Bible study, we will look into the Proverbs, along with a few verses from other books of the Bible, as we focus upon the kinds of influences that can come from peers. Amazingly, many verses—from Proverbs alone—address this.

Proverbs was written by wise King Solomon as instruction for his son, warning him of what to avoid and what to embrace in order to succeed in life. We will examine a few of these proverbs.

Proverbs 22:24-25: “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man you shall not go: lest you learn his ways, and get a snare to your soul.”

There are certain types of people who are perpetually angry or grumpy. Those given to road rage and similar outbursts do not require much to send them into an uncontrolled frenzy. It is best to politely part company with and keep as far away from such people as possible. Being exposed to this type of behavior can cause someone to internalize it.

Proverbs 22:10: “Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yes, strife and reproach shall cease.”

Scorners are generally less vocal than those given to anger. Scorners always have some sort of “axe to grind” or “score to settle”—they sow strife and stir up contentions as if it were second nature, often without being visibly angry. Such types seem to be perpetually involved in disputes, with family, friends and sometimes authorities.

Although everyone will sometimes have a reason to become unsettled, those who scorn seem to thrive on controversial issues. A good example of public scorners would be politicians who dig up dirt on their opponents. Amazingly, when scorners are out of the picture even for a short time, the atmosphere becomes noticeably more peaceful, as the above verse shows.

Proverbs 20:19: “He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flatters with his lips.”

Talebearers are quieter and more subdued than scorners. Notice that, in this Proverb, talebearers and flatterers are defined as being the same. Talebearers are inclined to extract both private information and gossip through flattery. Beware of what you tell such people. Any information you disclose to them can be used to cause a rift between you and the person you were discussing. Flatterers subtly catch people off guard and spin a web of deceit right before their eyes. They are more difficult to detect, but eventually form a track record of bad behavior. “By their fruits you know them” (Matt. 7:20). Proverbs 20:19 warns us not to meddle or mix with them.

Proverbs 24:21: “My son, fear you the Lord and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change…”

There are people who are “given to change,” whose “ways are moveable that you cannot know them” (Prov. 5:6). Have you noticed certain types of “friends” who seem friendly one day, but act like a bitter enemy the next day? They cannot explain why, but by nature, they change with each passing day. Such people can waver between joy and depression just as easily as they switch from excitement to boredom.

Everyone has his or her ups and downs and occasional varying moods. However, those given to change undergo radical changes in personality for no apparent reason. Such a person’s mannerism belies some form of emotional instability.

The friends we select should be stable, reliable and able to be counted upon to be the same person you have grown to know—and not a stranger on any given day!

Depending on and trusting in unpredictable people is like suffering a crippling injury. Notice: “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint” (Prov. 25:19). This is but one of many reasons why, in Proverbs 24:21, we are instructed not to meddle with them. Anyone who “fears the Lord and the king” will instantly recognize the folly of closely associating with unpredictable people.

Proverbs 14:7: “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you perceive not in him the lips of knowledge.”

One has to first recognize and then leave the presence of such an individual. This does not refer to someone who occasionally slips and says something inappropriate, accidentally letting a word or phrase slip by. Rather, it refers to someone who constantly talks about worthless subjects, and uses foul language and filthy jokes.

This point is further expounded upon by the following scripture: “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners” (I Cor. 15:33). This principle can apply to more than just communications. When someone is exposed to foul language or deceitful practices day after day, such exposure is bound to affect the way he thinks and acts.

The way to prevent this from taking hold is covered in the following point.

Proverbs 4:14-17: “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away. For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall. For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence.”

Note that we are admonished to stay away from those who work wickedness. We are to avoid them altogether by detouring away from where they reside or “hang out.” Such people cannot sleep unless they have practiced mischief and caused others to stumble and suffer loss. Such lovers of wickedness savor fighting and injuring others. Troublemakers should be avoided and ignored.

The following verse shows we are to be on constant guard against such people or situations: “A prudent man foresees the evil, and hides himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished” (Prov. 27:12). A prudent person knows when to sidestep wicked people and situations. It involves learning from mistakes that you and others have previously made.

Carefully note the experiences of others falling into various traps. The reason that experience is such a hard teacher is that the test comes first and the lessons follow. But we do not have to learn this way. The admonitions from the Bible, especially Proverbs, give us the lessons. If we heed them, the test that follows is easy. The test is simply whether we are prudent enough to sidestep the traps awaiting those who fail to heed the dangers and consequences of letting their guard down.

Proverbs 1:10-19: “My son, if sinners entice you, consent you not. If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk secretly for [ambush] the innocent without cause: let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: we shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: cast in your lot among us; let us all have one purse: my son, walk not you in the way with them; refrain your foot from their path: for their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood. Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird. And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives. So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which takes away the life of the owners thereof.”

Have you noticed that those who play pranks, play hooky, shoplift, do drugs and commit other relatively “minor” violations earlier in life generally graduate to worse violations with each passing year?

Laying in wait for blood is a planned and contrived scheme for murder and robbery. This behavior is not confined to youth gangs; it has become more commonplace in many countries, as respect for the lives and property of others has diminished. Young people who fall into this pattern of crime do not realize that they are laying in wait for their own blood, and are waiting to ambush and commit murder against themselves! They lose in every possible way.

Proverbs 14:31: “He that oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker: but he that honors him has mercy on the poor.”

There are some people, the youth in particular, who cannot resist putting down someone “below their status.” They bully the poor and weak simply because they can do so and get away with it. This attitude usually begets a mob mentality. God is aware of those who oppress the helpless—and considers this a reproach against Him!

By contrast, God considers those who show mercy on the poor or physically afflicted to be honoring Him. The word “mercy” appears 276 times in the Bible, while “merciful” appears 40 times, usually ascribing this attribute to God. God emphasizes many times that He is rich, abundant or plenteous in mercy (as in Psalm 103:8). Yet, to bullies and tyrants, such a concept is alien.

Proverbs 13:20: “He that walks with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

In contrast to associating with the “wrong crowd,” there are benefits to associating with wise friends. By “wise,” we do not mean friends with IQs over 150.

Seek friends and associates who value good sportsmanship, and who strive to improve themselves in whatever field of endeavor in which they participate, such as academics, music, sports, etc. Associate with those who are striving to grow in knowledge—who uphold a high level of morals and recognize the existence of the Creator—rather than making themselves vulnerable to the pitfalls of the glitter of this world. Strive to find peers who, as much as possible, fit this profile.