article from WINTER 2005 ISSUE
Who Do You Dress To Please?
As fashions become ever more bizarre and provocative—especially those popular among teens—we must strive to be different. Here are some principles that will help you stand out from the crowd.
BY JEFFREY R. AMBROSE
If an average teenager from 50, 40, 30 or even 20 years ago could take a time machine trip to the brink of 2006, most would be shocked at the way teens now dress.
As they stepped into the present, what kinds of sights would assault their sensibilities?
Let’s look at youth culture today.
We’ve Come a Long Way—Down!
Young people often take their style cues from media figures—actors and actresses, popular music figures and athletes. Many styles of dress identify one as a fan of a particular kind of music—fans of hip-hop/rap music wear ridiculously baggy, sloppy clothing, with the waist of their pants somewhere around their knees (inspired by convicts’ jumpsuits) and other items inspired by street gangs, including flashy jewelry. The influence of this culture has spread to perhaps the majority of young people today, especially males.
Some teen girls imitate the revealing, suggestive styles of certain pop stars. These celebrities seem to relish wearing degrading clothing.
Others gravitate toward the Goth subculture, which involves wearing clothing that is typically black, purple or burgundy, sometimes made of vinyl, accompanied by outlandish footwear, dark nail polish and makeup that contrasts a chalk-white face with coal-black eye shadow and dark lipstick—on both males and females. The look is often topped off with hair dyed jet-black, bleach blond, or loud, unnatural colors such as maroon. This dark, gloomy look typically goes hand-in-hand with an affinity for dark, gloomy music and movies.
In general, clothing is often worn to project an attitude of rebellion, to draw attention to the self or to shock onlookers. God prophesied of the modern nations of the West, “They have begotten strange children” (Hos. 5:7 – New King James).
How true today!
Blurred Gender Lines
Another trend is the unisex look—crossing the lines of traditional masculinity and femininity. A member of one prominent family of influential clothing designers recently stated, “What really interests me is the influence of menswear that is increasingly apparent in women’s tailoring (part Eighties, part comfort clothing). I love the idea of a woman dressing in a masculine way…mannish sweaters…wearing your boyfriend’s wardrobe but customising it with brooches and belts” (The Telegraph – India).
On the other side of the coin, “man-purses” are becoming increasingly popular among men in urban centers. Many trends in men’s fashion start among homosexuals and then quickly cross into the mainstream.
Writing of the end-time punishment soon to come upon the entire world, the book of Zephaniah states, “And it shall come to pass in the day of the Lord’s sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king’s children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel” (1:8). Some commentaries link the phrase “strange apparel” with cross-gender dressing, a practice used in the worship of the pagan gods Mars and Venus.
God addresses this practice in no uncertain terms: “The woman shall not wear that which pertains unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord your God” (Deut. 22:5).
Extremes vs. Moderation
So what is the proper approach to dress? A key verse carries a guiding principle in the matter: “Let your moderation be known unto all men” (Phil. 4:5).
Moderation means not being subject to excesses and extremes. Following this admonition will automatically set you apart from the crowd, whose fashions continually “push the envelope” to the extreme. We should avoid all extremes in our clothing—it should not be too baggy, too tight, too revealing, too loud and flashy, or too somber and dark.
Jewelry should also be worn in moderation—and again, within clear gender-defined lines. The trend of rings on your thumbs or multiple fingers should be avoided. Earrings, bracelets, and necklaces are feminine, and should be worn only by girls. The trend of multiple earrings on each ear should also be avoided.
Young men in the Church should resist the peer pressure to look sloppy, thuggish or effeminate. Strive to look masculine, sharp and clean-cut.
Likewise, the Church’s young women should rise above the immodest look so common among teen girls (and even many older women) today. Girls should look feminine and modest.
It may take work to find clothing that fits both of these descriptions, and you will find that some clothing stores do not carry anything suitable to wear. But with sufficient effort, it can be done.
Other Principles
Dress appropriately for the occasion. Do your homework and learn about proper attire for a wedding, funeral and other occasions. The need for education in this regard was highlighted by a news story earlier this year, which pointed out that some members of a university girls’ lacrosse team wore flip-flops to the White House. Such disrespect for the office of the presidency was unheard of 15 years ago!
Dress for the season. Sandals and shorts are not proper, or wise, to wear in the winter. On the other hand, although modesty must be maintained, it is not necessary to wear long sleeves and long pants all summer long!
Avoid worldly trends and passing fads. These are simply a way to fit in with the world around us. Although they may seem intriguing at first, when you step back and consider where this world is headed, it becomes very difficult to find a good reason to want to fit in!
Be consistent. We should not dress one way around Church members, then pull out another wardrobe when we are at school or work.
Finally, we should be different, but this does not mean we should look odd or strange. It is possible to find moderate, high quality, tasteful and flattering clothing today, but it will take some effort. In the process, you will benefit, becoming more mature as your tastes and preferences are refined!
Our Appearance Matters
The way we dress makes a statement—it reflects our mindset. And the impression we make has much to do with our appearance.
Some may argue that God looks only on the heart, and that He is not concerned with a person’s appearance. However, the following scriptures reveal otherwise:
• “Abstain from all appearance of evil” (I Thes. 5:22).
• “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid” (Matt. 5:14).
A light is visual—it is something that is seen! While the importance of our outward appearance does not outweigh that of our character, it does to some degree reflect our character.
It Takes Courage
There are few things more dreaded or painful to a young person than being rejected or scorned by peers. Courage and determination are required to be different—to swim against the current that those around you are drifting with.
Ironically, young people often dress with the intent of projecting toughness, pride, independence or intimidation. They claim to be expressing their individualism. However, those who follow trends are conformists, no matter how loudly they may protest to the contrary. They fear to be different. They are afraid of not going along with the group whose acceptance they seek.
But here is God’s view of conforming to the world: “And be not conformed to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Rom. 12:2). His will is that we copy Him, not the world.
Those who exercise the vision and courage necessary to be different should be prepared for some degree of opposition, criticism and rejection. Referring to this present age, the prophet Isaiah wrote, “Yes, truth fails; and he that departs from evil makes himself a prey: and the Lord saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no judgment” (Isa. 59:15). You will be wearing a target, so to speak, when you stand out from the crowd.
However, if you trust in and strive to please God, He will fight your battles for you and will be your shield (Psa. 28:7; 144:2).
Who Are You Dressing For?
Ultimately, everything we do in life should please God. To please God usually requires that our mindset and behavior be the opposite of what will please our peers at school or work. So it is in the area of dress.
While God does allow latitude for personal preferences and styles, He expects His people—including young people in His Church—to be striving to meet His standards, not lowering themselves to conforming to the customs of the world—a world that will soon be replaced by a much better one!
Will you have the courage to represent that better world now?