Everyone knew that John was a “whiz kid” when it came to Calculus. He seemingly never had to study, but always turned in virtually flawless homework. And he always passed his tests with flying colors.

On the morning after a lengthy exam, the instructor was returning test results. As John looked over his test, his friend Patrick tapped him on the shoulder: “Aced it, didn’t you?”

“No, I flunked,” John replied mockingly.

Patrick flinched. He had not scored so well on the test, and as John proceeded to wave his unmarked paper at him, Patrick knew that the first class period was going to be the longest forty-five minutes of his life...

On the day after his sixteenth birthday, Robert nervously and excitedly applied for a driver’s license. He passed all of the tests and, the next day, went for a drive with some friends. In all of the excitement, he ran a red light, barely avoiding an accident.

“Way to go, Einstein!” a voice from the back seat exclaimed.

Although the rest of the day was uneventful, Robert couldn’t wait to get home and put away his car keys...

A Universal Problem

How many times have you asked someone a question and been replied to in a way that was intended to make you feel foolish, as if the answer were considered obvious or understood? How many times have you answered a question that way?

Do you sometimes find yourself verbally responding to the actions of others in a way that reflects the exact opposite of what you actually think or feel? If so, do you know why you do this?

Most people do not consider the impact that their words will have on others. Society practically programs people to be jaded, insensitive and rude. The entertainment industry promotes this in a variety of ways—and none of them very subtle.

Sarcasm is defined as “a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.” If it can be said that “sex sells,” then it should also be stated that “sarcasm sells,” because it is also employed by advertisers.

And this has made its way from Madison Avenue and Hollywood to the home. Parents and children alike choose sarcastic tones and remarks to try to “get their point across.” Husbands and wives do this to each other and to their children. In turn, children spout sarcasm back at their parents and at their siblings. This carries over to the classroom and the workplace—and virtually all social settings.

Most are perhaps familiar with the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” However, most people do not practice this principle. The world is becoming more and more geared toward self-satisfaction, self-gratification and self-indulgence. Few are concerned with the needs and well-being of others. Far too often, when things do not go their way, people simply “lose it,” and lash out at others. Ironically, such outbursts are often directed at those who have nothing to do with the situation, but are merely innocent bystanders who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Are You Sarcastic?

Does any of this sound like you? Do you, from time to time, find yourself irritated with others when they say or do things that, to you, seem to defy obvious “logic”? Do you allow this irritation to provoke you to belittle them?

Such an approach is degrading to the other person, whether it is taken privately or in the presence of others. And its implications are deeper than might first meet the eye.

The Bible has much to say about the words we use—and the way we use them. And it shows that there are good and bad forms of sarcasm. To know the difference, you must examine the motive behind it. While you may not have considered it in quite this way before, when exercised in a negative, demeaning manner, sarcasm is a form of lying. When one’s intention is to make another person feel bad or “look bad,” and to make himself look better at the same time, this is clearly wrong.

Notice what God’s Word says about this: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves” (Phil. 2:3).

Always ask yourself, “Do my words and actions help and encourage others? Do they build others up or do they tear them down?” Of course, we all occasionally make comments in a mildly sarcastic or facetious manner, without intending to demean others. Sometimes, such statements can lighten a tense moment or bring a smile to another person’s face, when he or she realizes the true intent behind it. By looking at creation, we can see that God definitely has a sense of humor. Therefore, it is not wrong to sometimes look at things from the “lighter side.”

But tact and discretion must be exercised. Even when a particular comment could potentially lighten a serious moment, you must put yourself “in the other person’s shoes,” and imagine how such a statement may be received. Although your intentions could be very innocent, and even good, “a wise man’s heart discerns both time and judgment” (Ecc. 8:5), and knows when to say (or not to say) what.

Also notice Proverbs 17:28: “Even a fool, when he holds his peace [does not speak], is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” It is sometimes better to say nothing at all.

Again, examine your motive. Sometimes, you may be tempted to make a particular remark simply to show others how “clever” you are, without even considering how it will make the other person feel.

Psalm 5:9 describes those whose “throat is an open sepulcher,” and Jesus Christ said, in Luke 6:45, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Ultimately, we must all follow Christ’s admonition in Luke 6:31: “And as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them likewise.” In other words, we must always be considerate of others, treating them the way we would want to be treated. This includes the way we speak to them. You will be known as much by your words as by your actions, so choose your words wisely. Everyone will benefit in the long run!